Love your relationship...and love your happier, healthier self
I'm Marina Broadley and I see individuals about their relationships. If you want to come as a couple please contact independent associate counsellor, Bally Bhathal on 07985 128397. See her details right here:
I see many people, and many of the people I see are either very unhappy and disappointed within a relationship or very unhappy and disappointed without a relationship. And, by default, living a very unhappy and disappointing life.
I see many people who are sabotaging their relationship or hope of one.
I see many people who are co-creating a toxic, very unhealthy dynamic and don't know why or how.
I see many people who live an unhappy life without meaning or connection. Who fear losing their partner and yet set it up to happen.
I see many people who through a desperate insecurity, spend vast amounts of energy checking up on their partner - their terror of loss manifesting in sickness.
I see many people who's partner has threatened to leave them unless they get help.
I see many people who's partner walked out on them.
I see many people who are parents and appear to be addicted to abusive, volatile, drama. Unbeknown to them, they are transmitting this toxicity to their children. No exception.
I see many women who feel trapped, who are terrified to leave.
I see many women who feel trapped, who confuse being dominated and controlled with being loved.
I see many people who, after years of vileness, feel small, insignificant, anxious, and completely dependant on their partner.
I see many people who believe that what they are experiencing is normal. And that somehow they deserve to be very unhappy.
I see many people seemingly stuck in unhealthy relationships creating tremendous damage.
Just look at these toxic descriptions!
"very unhappy and disappointed, sabotaging, unhealthy dynamic, fear losing partner, desperate insecurity, terror of loss, sickness, partner threatened to leave, partner walked out, trapped, terrified to leave, dominated, controlled, transmitting toxicity to children, abusive, volatile, tremendous damage...."
It doesn't have to be this way. But it will likely stay this way without outside help. We're all grand masters at repeating!
Come and see me. It doesn't have to be a crisis situation. Although it may be. Or it may feel like it. You may not be in a relationship. Maybe you know that you're not very good at them.
I've come to see that there is not much in life that is more unhealthy and damaging than living within an unhappy relationship. Whether it is hidden or openly out there both people are suffering in such awful ways that those around them cannot fail to be affected.
It may not be about loving, being loved, romance or sex. It may be more about not being able to relate well to people in general - feeling outside of life, alone, different.
There's no point in me listing a huge list of superficial 'common relationship issues'. We're too unique. Too complex. In any event you can get all that from a magazine article. I understand people in a deeper way.
And that is what I can help you with. To look at your relationship in a different way. To do this you have to first understand much more about the underlying hurt, the unmet needs, the disappointment, the fears, the fury, and so on.
You may have already tried to make things better. Perhaps by confiding in others. But it may be a difficult one for you to broach with friends / family. They all have an opinion based on their own perspective and personal history. Odd as this may sound, well meaning advice can feel awful. Yet people try it out. They try to 'be different'. It just doesn't come anywhere near the fundamental human issue - the core of you.
Papering over the cracks - it never works
A relationship difficulty isn't a distinct, separate difficulty / entity. The difficulty is part and parcel of who we are. It represent parts of me, you, all of us.
All of our behaviour has an underlying meaning. There is always a sad, poignant meaning behind the way we act - sometimes hard to uncover particularly if we're riddled with shame and guilt.
The awful thing is that while our insecurities are sub-conscious then we tend to set up what we most fear. But once we are more consciously aware, we don't do that!
So for me it's about delicately and sensitively understanding the man / woman you are behind the problem - not only seeing your manifest symptom such as 'commitment phobia' or 'the affair' or 'the sex problem' or whatever else it may be.
Trying to address just your surface issue would be like painting over the rising damp / papering over the cracks on the bathroom wall. Do we do this? Yes, sometimes. As a temporary fix. But we know that it will keep on coming back.
The only way: looking below the surface - it works
It is not so hard as you might think. The sense of freedom people feel is incredible. It is like after years of sort of avoiding it, (an attempt to prevent it being real) everything falls into place. Rigid, relationship damaging, self-protection strategies gently melt away.
You can love your relationship
Coming for counselling may be the best thing you ever did. You'll be giving yourself the opportunity to have a happier life.
See that making the investment in your now, is also your future. And see that nothing will magically change without doing something about it. But this you already know.
I see many people who come because deep down they long for a healthy loving relationship. And through the counselling process, they find it in themselves to turn things around, to recognise what is possible and what isn't, to gain amazing self-strength, to change the course of their lives. Just awesome.
Book your appointment today. You can see me, Marina Broadley as an individual. Or as a couple book your appointment with Bally, independent associate counsellor. See her details right here: